Newsweek article on Fifty Shades of Grey...  

How bad would it be if I said that I'm now sorely tempted?

it feels a little off somehow

     ...but you can't quite place it.

Liminal connection, transient contact, lack of traction. Missing what you don't really know exists, longing without being aware of your desire. Everything is slipping, slipping. It's such an effort to hold on.

You've the overwhelming urge to shut down. To stop and drag everything around you to a screeching halt, your dead weight an anchor against the pressing tide. Oh, the luxury of suspension, the exquisite stretch of time. To hang upon a single endless moment. Extend consciousness into the periphery and submerge it in dimension. Run thought along the crevices of reality. Savor.

Extended release.

how familiar.

oh, it's all in good fun.

more nighttime wanders.

Of oceans, things lost, abandoned places, submersion, and puzzles.  

I was trying not to drown.

nightmares last night.

It's as if I haven't slept at all. Tension lines my muscles, heartbeat stuttering in my chest. It's so hard to focus; there's so much on my mind... Where to start and how to end? I can't make heads nor tails of this mess - -

schoolmoneygradesjobsigmasrelationshipsparentsexpectationsplansgoalsdreamswantsneeds

It feels like my life is going up in flames. I've already given up trying to hold things together, and now I'm just running to keep from being crushed by the debris. I keep running and running, both in dreams and in real life, in my mind and in my heart, and all I find is one dead end after another. When will I be able stop? Maybe I should turn around and face my problems, but the prospect grows more daunting by the day. And I'm tired and breathless.

" it's a question of judgment, not taste "

 - Should we clarify what we're doing?

 - Wouldn't that be limiting our options?

 - I'm open to suggestions.

 - Mmh I don't want to think too much about it.  Let's just see where it goes.

 - How free spirited.

    ...Sounds fair. :)

 - Okay(:

                 GIVE ME 

                      FIREWORKS.

burn baby burn.

tonight

it's so unexpected

     ...the quiet conversation, the easy flow. You've caught me so off guard that sometimes I let it drop deliberately, daring you to pick it up again. Secretly, I almost wish you wouldn't. Yet time and time again, you do, and even as I slip and dodge, even as I endeavor to hold things out of reach, somehow I'm giving up more of myself than I was prepared to, more than I've ever given before. It scares me, this honesty. My secrets are my protection; my reticence, my weapon. What will you do, now that you've stripped me of my defenses?

                            IT IS THE AFFAIR OF...





     THE ARTIST

             to change the way we see


     THE MUSICIAN

             to change the way we listen


     THE WRITER

             to change the way we think



     let us not lose our heart in living,
     and may we keep the art in life.

shatter

     ... into a million pieces, again and again and again.  Feel yourself fragment, particle by particle, silver lightning stitching through your veins.  The electricity in the air is tangible.  Disengage with individual, connect with the multitude; you've the whole world in your hands.  Tumble over the edge, fall into oblivion - or shoot into nirvana.  Die a small death, only to be reborn in a single shining moment.