interview with a player.

Where did you go? What did you see?
Did it mean more or less than it did before
 Did you get what you wanted?
Did it even make a difference?
Were there star filled eyes or any
after dinner mints and toothpicks?
Did everyone forget about you?
Did it all add up to something big or
  just little victories scattered into the ocean,
  nothing much but enough.
Will you find me again?
What if it was just like the first time?
What if the weather was perfect and you felt
  young instead of older? Do people ever change?
Did you do your best? Did you save a life?
Did you spend years saving your own or did you
  think you were and ended up more lost than ever?
Did you sit at bars, sip mixed drinks,
Wear nice shirts, fuck pretty girls?
   Can you really say you did not love me more
   than the rest even though I always made a mess?

I am alone and I can't look into the mirror, and
I am not sure what to say, I'm tongue tied,
I'm half beautiful, I'm too closed..
The desperation does not leave, you seemed so perfect
  and intense and I can't stop looking at pictures
  of you and nothing good comes easy.