pinpoint.

It's 4am.  It's that endless still point of night, when all the world is either sleeping or crazy, and I'm not done packing.  Of course, instead of finishing quickly so that I may leave on schedule tomorrow, I am online, wasting time.

At 4 in the morning, one is never truly productive, try as they might, and the mind tends to wander strange, lonely places. My mind right now wobbles uncertainly between present and past, between the me staying up the night to pack for tomorrow and the me from one year ago, up all night packing for her first year at college.  Some things don't change.  

The weird part, however, is what has changed.  It's disorienting: my state of mind now compared to the mental mess I was then.  To say that I've come a long, long way is, if anything, an understatement.  It feels funny, to be able to look back - to a time that, in the scope of a lifetime, really wasn't so long ago - and say, "Wow.  I was really stupid." Freshman year was fun while it lasted, but as I tell everybody who asks: never again.  

Not to say that I don't still have a long, long way to go.  I definitely do.  But that is why I feel the sudden urge now to take a moment to acknowledge my past, to reflect on the path I have taken, before stepping forward tomorrow, the next day, and the next.  Life is a slippery, beautiful gift.  We must treasure what we have before it's gone.  

May this coming school year bring countless precious memories ~ 

Photo by Tash, via Flickr.

transitions.

It suddenly struck me that I have less than a week left in Southern California.  When did this happen?  I'm not done with the sunshine; I want more shimmering semi-desert heat.  But suddenly, nights are getting somewhat nippy, and sometimes I regret coming out in the light, filmy clothes I love so much.  Suddenly, I'm buying textbooks and applying for jobs and sleeping less and talking more and jotting down what events to attend and crossing out happenings I think I can afford to miss out on... here goes life again, gearing into that whirlwind high speed rush.  As it is, time passes much too fast, and people tell me it's only gonna go by faster.  

Monsoon, Spring/Summer 2011.  I've always loved Camilla Akrans' photography.  Her work is like a peephole into a suspended mini-verse drenched in burnished summer gold.  I miss SoCal already ~

taste of sunshine.

Dentist today.  After one torturous hour of scrubs, blinding florescent lights, and squealing sharp instruments, I emerged from the twilight zone with the knowledge that I have sensitive teeth, I brush with too much pressure, and I have two cavities that I must return this Friday to fill.  Hnn.  Maybe I should cut back on the sugary baked goods I make all the time.

The rest of my day was spent detoxing in Westwood.   I was phoneless, and thus friendless, for the afternoon, but to be honest, I didn't really mind my accidental lonesome.  I drifted in and out of shops as I pleased and soaked up balmy sunshine.  Minor wallet damage a la Victoria's Secret and wistful haunting in Urban Outfitters before I settled down at an adorable back street cafe a dear friend introduced me to last spring: Espresso Profeta.  The coffee was a little rough around the edges, but the atmosphere was lovely.  Think romance in Parisian gardens ~

hahha hello, photobomber

such luxury ♥