At 4 in the morning, one is never truly productive, try as they might, and the mind tends to wander strange, lonely places. My mind right now wobbles uncertainly between present and past, between the me staying up the night to pack for tomorrow and the me from one year ago, up all night packing for her first year at college. Some things don't change.
The weird part, however, is what has changed. It's disorienting: my state of mind now compared to the mental mess I was then. To say that I've come a long, long way is, if anything, an understatement. It feels funny, to be able to look back - to a time that, in the scope of a lifetime, really wasn't so long ago - and say, "Wow. I was really stupid." Freshman year was fun while it lasted, but as I tell everybody who asks: never again.
Not to say that I don't still have a long, long way to go. I definitely do. But that is why I feel the sudden urge now to take a moment to acknowledge my past, to reflect on the path I have taken, before stepping forward tomorrow, the next day, and the next. Life is a slippery, beautiful gift. We must treasure what we have before it's gone.
May this coming school year bring countless precious memories ~
Photo by Tash, via Flickr.